The Real Lives of Vampires
by Nicolette134
Summary: Set before and after 'Nian' and their relationship. Paul's take on what's going on. 2-shot, friendfic
1. Chapter 1

"I am _telling _you Ian, do not do this," I said, exasperated. Ian had been insistent on this really bad idea for a while now, but I've been trying to talk him out of it.

"I don't understand what the problem is. She's gorgeous, she's fun, she's into it. I don't know why you object," he said.

"Ian, I don't know how you _don't_ object. I'm sure her parents object. She's a _child_ Ian. This isn't a TV show. You're not 20, you're too old to be messing around with her," I responded.

"Oh, you're one to talk," he answered, "You're constantly making out with her."

"On the show, you freak. Do you seriously think there's no difference? I'm married for Christ sake," I said, pointing to the wedding band on my ring finger.

"Well, good for you. I, however, am not. I can't believe you seriously don't think we should date. Everyone wants us to date," he said. That was the sad part- he seriously couldn't fathom how weird their relationship would be, especially for me.

"Ian, you're ten years older than her. And it's not like it's a matter of 50 and 40. She's still a kid, you know?" I tried to explain.

"She's very mature," he answered, flippantly. I give up; this is getting ridiculous.

"Paul, why are you and Ian fighting?" Matt asked me, coming into my trailer.

"That sounded very middle school," I said, laughing it off.

"I'm serious," he said, shooting me a look to prove it.

"He wants to date Nina," I said, shrugging, "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Of course it isn't a good idea!" exclaimed Matt. "Is he kidding? She's a kid!"

"I know! She's like a little sister to me- albeit one I make out with quite a bit- but apparently the same does not apply to him," I said, glad someone agreed with me.

"I mean, I can sort of see her going after him- he's older, pays attention to her, she thinks she's real mature, and that sort of thing, but him going after her is just bizarre," Matt continued.

"I agree one hundred percent," I said, "even then, hooking up in the trailers is one thing, go out to dinner and denying any relationship if you have to, but he wants to go _public_ with it."

"Is he looking for publicity?" Matt asked, "I thought the show was doing well."

"It is doing well, really well. We don't need any publicity stunt, he just wants everyone to know about them."

"What's he going to do, Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch? How does he plan on going public?"

"Who knows? Instagram, Twitter, their PR team, they could do it anyway they wanted to. They could show up at an event together and just be like, 'yes we're dating. He's a cradle-robber'."

"He's insane. He's going to push her too far, you know? He'll be ready to settle down, she won't, they'll break up, try to keep it professional, but the two of us are going to be running interference and she'll be crying in her trailer for days. You _know_ that's how it's going to end up."

"Yeah, I know. Why do you think I think it's such a horrible idea in the first place?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Paul!" I heard the moment I picked up the phone, before I even spoke, "Happy, happy birthday!"

"Nina," I said, smiling, "how are you?"

"Been better, you?" she answered, brushing off the question. She's just broken up with a serious boyfriend, who was one of my best friends, and just so happened to star on a hit teen drama with us.

"You know. Getting old, getting a divorce, getting fat," I said.

"You are _not_ getting fat," she answered, ignoring the rest of my statement and continuing on, "You're still gorgeous, and just to prove it, we're going out tonight to celebrate!"

"Celebrate what?" I asked, facetiously, "The getting old thing or the divorce?"

"You're depressing me," she said, "We're going out and that's final. I need to be seen with people other than the Hough's, there's a rumor going around that Derek and I are dating."

"There's a rumor that Derek Hough is straight and interested in you? These things are getting a bit far-fetched, aren't they?" I commented.

"Exactly. Anyway, tonight; you, me, a couple of our nearest and dearest, and the best booze in town. You down?"

"I'm in," I said, "heading to the shower now."

"I knew I could count on you," she laughed, "You're the best!"

"I know I am," I said, "You're not too bad yourself."

I really expected to be picking up the piece when 'Nian' inevitably fell apart; turns out fate and my wife, or soon to be ex-wife, had something else in mind, now Nina and I had to share the responsibility of watching out for each other.


End file.
